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March 2007 EOP Newsletter
- YOUR BEST FOOT
- PEER TUTORING SERVICES
- EOP AND FAMLY: STUDENT PERSPECTIVES
- EDUCATION FOR WOMEN IN THE PROGRESSIVE ERA
- STUDENT SPOTLIGHT
- WHILE I’M AWAY BY: ANTHONY LAVAUGHN ORPHE
- FINANCIAL AID NEWS
EOP AND FAMLY: STUDENT PERSPECTIVES
It never dawned on me, but it should have. When I hear the word family, a definition automatically appears in my head. True, there is my definition. But along with that is everyone else’s definition. We are all so different and our experiences vary. In psychology class we learn that the individual exists within a context that shapes how s/he experiences the world. I find that this is also true with EOP.
Throughout this article, I interviewed some current EOP students. I probed their views about social life, “drama,” academics, and most importantly, family. Their names are not important, but their words are. You will see three colors in this piece. The most notable are black and white. You will hear their thoughts and opinions and how they oppose each other. You may react emotionally or relate to their experience, as it may be similar to yours. The third color is not so clear because it is gray. I hope that you will look for it. With every story there is a middle ground, a meaning that exist between the lines. Some may even call it the truth…
When asked about EOP being a family, responses varied. “A real family knows all your business. EOP people, they know everything. And they usually all go to class with you (for the first semester) so that’s like ‘oh that’s my family over there, you’re in my class.’ So you see them all the time and they know all your business. That is what I think of family.” It can also mean knowing that someone has your back. “It means that everybody is here together. We help each other out. Get work done. Like if you’re not on track with your school work you can come and talk about it. They can help you with so much.”
Being close can have it’s drawbacks too. Sometimes we all need a little space. “It’s hard to meet new people when you’re involved with a lot of EOP people. It makes you not want to go meet new people.” No matter what you go through you have to look at what you do have and make the most of it. “You can make friends with people outside of EOP. Sometimes they think you are lucky that you are in EOP. They wish they could get the help that we get.” A statement from another student reinforces this idea. “When you first get here you meet new people, you learn about the campus before anyone else does. Summer program makes it easier and the checks. People wish they had a book check.” In accordance with this line of thinking, “EOP has made things easier because if I weren’t in EOP, I don’t think I would even be here.”
Most agree that being in EOP has it’s advantages. “In a way it has made it easier because of the tutoring programs which I needed .” Certain students appreciate the support networks that are in place. “If you pick a major and maybe you don’t know the requirements, you can talk to a counselor and they can guide you so you can get there.”
In any family, there will be difficulties. Not everyone will agree. “Some EOP students, they turn on other EOP students. I don’t like that, that makes it a little more difficult, but I can forget about that.” Adversity does not build character, it reveals it. “In EOP there’s a lot of fake people that I’ve seen. With me, I keep it real with people. If I don’t like you, well, that’s how I feel. I think when it comes to being you, you have to be you. But, some people don’t see it like that.”
We are all adults. Hopefully, we are all able to grow from our experiences. “If somebody does not like me, they don’t like me. Why would you be mad at something like that? I think that’s high school.” Others agreed with this sentiment. “Where I come from, if you don’t like somebody, oh well, you just don’t like that person. You don’t have to be talking about me and I see a lot of that in EOP.”
When asked if counselors could help, one student believed that it’s the individual’s responsibility. “I don’t think so because what can a counselor tell a person if he or she does not want to do it, unless it’s your will and you choose not to do it.”
When it is all said and done, school should be your top priority. “There are a lot of people who are not mature. I bet if you take those people and you compare their avErage to mine, you will see the difference. Those are the ones you see failing for nothing.”
During my last interview the concept of family was powerfully summarized. The student shared her values with me. “A family is just that. You love that person. You have feelings, you take care of that person. You don’t talk about that person. Even if you do, it’s to their face.”
Something valuable that I learned is that you can’t assume. I assumed everyone shared my opinion about our family. The more I listened, the better I was able to see that all of the opinions expressed are the embodiment of family. Thank you to those who shared their views and were honest with me. It took a lot of courage to do that. If nothing else, I hope that by being honest with each other, we can continue to grow and learn to understand one another.
Peace
